You’re walking in the North Woods,
there’s no one around, and your phone is dead.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him…
He’s following you about 9.144 meters back,
he gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint,
he’s gaining on you!
You’re looking for you car,
but you’re all turned aboot!
He’s almost upon you now,
and you can see there’s blood on his face.
My god, there’s blood everywhere!
Running for your life!
(From Stephen Harper.)
He’s brandishing a knife!
(It’s Stephen Harper!)
Hiding in the shadows,
Conservative PM Stephen Harper!
Living in the woods.
Killing for sport.
Eating all the bodies,
actual cannibal Stephen Harper.
Now it’s dark, and you seem to have lost him.
But you’re hopelessly lost yourself.
With a murderer.
You creepy silently through the underbrush.
A-ha! In the distance, a small cabin with a light on!
You move stealthily toward it,
BUT YOUR LEG, AHH,
IT’S CAUGHT IN A BEAR TRAP!
Gnawing off your leg.
Limping to the cabin.
Now you’re on the doorstep.
Sitting inside is…
cutting the healthcare budget.
But he doesn’t hear you enter.
You’re sneaking up behind him,
strangling PM Stephen Harper.
Fighting for your life
(with Stephen Harper)
Wrestling a knife
(from Stephen Harper)
Stab it in his kidney,
Safe at last from Stephen Harper.
You limp into the North Woods,
blood oozing from your stump leg,
But you’ve won. You have beaten
- citrusfizz reblogged this from lord-kitschener
- citrusfizz likes this
- timetofeedthealien reblogged this from fetalfaggot
- timetofeedthealien likes this
- cannibaltarot reblogged this from fetalfaggot
- fetalfaggot reblogged this from lord-kitschener
- uss-insipid likes this
- effieandhaymitch5eva likes this
- historykraken likes this
- pacalstahp reblogged this from lord-kitschener
- pewpewlasernipples reblogged this from mashkwi
- flawinthedesign reblogged this from mashkwi and added:
- rebelyell101 reblogged this from mashkwi
- mashkwi reblogged this from lord-kitschener
- mashkwi likes this
- hankhendrix reblogged this from lord-kitschener
- voltafiish likes this
- intheconcertroom likes this
- croftian reblogged this from lord-kitschener
- croftian likes this
- thewomanwhobloggedlikeaman likes this
- imsuggestingcoconutsmigrate reblogged this from moonblossom
- wahnwitzig likes this
- teamputvedev reblogged this from lord-kitschener and added:
- whenanimalsgetstuck reblogged this from lord-kitschener
- moonblossom reblogged this from lord-kitschener
- whenanimalsgetstuck likes this
- moonblossom likes this
- lord-kitschener posted this